Detour From Spinsterhood
by MEGGEM
Summary: Troy, with the help of Abed's camera, shows Britta the pleasure of being immature. Includes squirrel costumes and two one-eyed cats. T/B


**Hey, it's Meggem. Just got this random idea for a fanfic and wrote in like an hour so I hope it's okay. **

**Pairings: Troy/Britta**

**Wrote while listening to 'Electric Twist' vid for Troy/Britta on Youtube: not mine, but everyone should watch it!**

**Hope all the references are clear! By the way, the ending is from a King of Queens episode, if you are familiar with that series. **

**Detour from Spinsterhood **

The first time Troy stayed at Britta's apartment, he saw a rat.

Three weeks before, Britta had caught Troy when he'd fallen out of a tree. Well, not really caught, more like cushioned his fall.

"What the hell were you doing in a tree!" she'd yelled as they tried to untangle themselves from the ground and each other.

"Since Abed and I moved in together, we're going through our summer To-Do-List and we had to act like an animal for the entire day!"

"You couldn't pick one that stayed on the ground?"

"Abed likes squirrels!"

"YOU were the ones who were chucking acorns at me!"

After they got over the inevitable awkwardness of landing in each other's arms and anger about the bump on Britta's head that had been caused by a particularly big acorn, they made a deal. Since Troy didn't have any money or concert tickets to smooth things over, they saw it as an opportunity to make Britta a better person.

Summer was long and boring and her doctor _and _therapist had recommended that she didn't go on anymore trips to Amsterdam for a while, so Troy offered to take Britta out- as a friend- every Friday night, to a place of his choosing. The only criteria for the place was that it had to be immature, cliché, and somewhere Abed could get good access to Ding Dongs, since he was tagging along to document Britta's transformation.

"It's the perfect metamorphosis," he said when he joined Britta and Troy on ground level. Britta noticed that both were wearing fuzzy gloves, had drawn whiskers on their cheeks, and had a bag of acorns handing off their belts. "A veer off the course to spinsterhood with the help of a courtship from a young prince. It's perfect. You'll learn about each other, Britta will find her inner self, Troy might grow as a man, and it'll be great in black and white!"

Britta scowled. "I'm not on the path to spinsterhood. Can't you just pay me?"

"Britta, if we were dressing up as squirrels for entertainment, do you really think we have any money stashed away?" Abed scratched his hair, which was littered with leaves and branches.

"Good point."

"You need to loosen up, Britta!" Troy was starting to look excited. "You're going to become an old cat woman! Maybe you'll go from the Allstate of people to the Geico!"

Abed vouched for his friend, "He's right. Their spokesmen are awesome. They have a lizard, a caveman, talking money, and a dude in a suit."

"Yeah, you need to be more Geico-ish!"

Britta sighed. "Whatever! But I have a date this Friday night, can we start next week?"

Troy shrugged. "Sure. Abed and I are going to tunnel under the dorms this weekend. It could take a while. And we find any treasure, we're sending it into the future, right buddy?"

"Cool. Cool, cool, cool."

So, the week after Squirrel day, Troy took Britta to Chuck E Cheese. And the week after that, they played miniature golf. Abed did a close up shot of each hole.

"I'm making a dramatic montage," he explained.

The third week, they went ice skating. Troy taught Britta how to skate backwards, which resulted in her running into a man in long johns who kind of looked like Santa Clause. Abed called, "Cut!" just as her foot connected with his jaw. Despite that, they had a great time and ate snow cones as Santa Clause iced his face.

"That was fun!" she said, pushing hair out of her face.

Troy laughed. "Your tongue is all blue."

She smiled and said, "Is it?" as she wagged it in front of his face. He giggled and stuck out his tongue as well. Abed got a shot of both tongues waggling.

"That's the t-shirt," he murmured, taking notes.

That night, Abed was going to do some editing and their dorm room was kind of a mess of comics, cereal, and dvds, so Abed suggested Troy stay with Britta.

"It'll add some tension to the romcom and it'll give Pavel and I some time to clean up," he said after the ice skating event. Troy eyed Britta carefully.

"Is that…okay?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Do you like cat hair and lumpy couches?"

"Yes and yes!"

She'd retreated to her room at around midnight, after they watched reruns of Monk and Burn Notice. A balance of drama and kickass explosions, they'd comprised. Troy installed himself on the couch, wiggling his toes out under the short blanket. He fell asleep quickly, waking only to eat some Cheetos he'd found under Britta's sink. He smirked at the idea of her chowing down carbs at 1 in the morning, looking at the bag with a mixture of hate and guilty pleasure.

It was the next morning when he saw it. They had a quiet breakfast of eating fiber while watching the Mentalist and her leg kept touching his under the table. It was nice. They were supposed to meet Abed in the park for details and she'd gone to get changed when something caught his eye. A white, furry little ball skittered next to the couch and Troy shrieked. His brain exploded.

_Rat! Unpopular rat! What if it smelled the cheese on me last night! What if ate my face? No, I still have my face. Rats like cheese, right? Oh man- RAT!_

He sat there, frozen, as the red eyed beast approached. He couldn't move. Its dirty little paws made clacking sounds against the floorboards.

He was going to die.

Out of nowhere, there was a flash of black and tawny brown as two one-eyed cats swooped in to rescue him. They hissed at the nasty rat, who screeched and ran as fast as his legs would carry him. Troy was awestruck as the cats turned to him, satisfied looks on their one-eyed faces.

Britta ran out of her room at that moment. "Troy! What happened-"

She paused at the sight of Troy, kneeling on her floor, her cats in his lap as he stroked them affectionately. They were purring and his eyes were full of grateful tears. He looked up at her.

"They saved me!" he giggled and the cats meowed. Britta grinned, sitting down at his side, and put her arms around him.

"By the way, I'm glad you don't have automatic toilets," Troy murmured into her hair. She pulled her face back to meet his eyes.

"Me too," she said softly, before pressing her lips to his. The two one-eyed cats each closed their eye to give them privacy.

Troy and Britta decided that Abed could wait until later and spent the morning watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' on cable, finishing off the Cheetos.

**The End **

**I love this pairing because Troy truly does bring out the best in Britta :) **

**Who is excited for season 3! Have you seen the promotional photos? What the...**

**Review please! -Meggem **


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